It’s been many years since I realized I was ADHD, but only recently have I started recognizing how those symptoms affect my romantic relationships. I somehow missed the fact that it can be hard for someone to have a serious conversation with me because despite my desire to focus solely on the topic at hand, I can’t seem to stop my eyes from wandering the room. It can be frustrating and feel like I don’t care enough, when I fidget and fuss during important events. My excitement over meeting new people can be interpreted as inappropriate flirting; my constant interruptions as rudeness. Because those behaviors are so commonplace for me, and generally outside even my conscious awareness, I am continually caught by surprise when misinterpretations occur. And let me tell you, these types of issues are exponentially magnified when they occur within an intimate setting! Romancing a woman who has the attention span of a flea can provide a challenge for even a saint. Needless to say, normal men can be pushed past their limits when my ADHD suddenly shifts a beautiful intimate moment into a fit of cursing as I remember suddenly that I forgot to pay a bill due that day. Sadly, my relationships can heat up quickly during these times and not always in a fun way.
It’s time to face reality. So here it is:
I will never be able to keep my ADHD out of my love life no matter how hard I try.
It stinks, but there is no more pretending. It’s time to learn how to face it better, acknowledge it fairly, and find some workarounds. There must be a way to find peace in love regardless the chaos residing in my head.
If you, or anyone you love, live with AD(H)D, please join me for a live #SexTalkTuesday Twitter discussion about “ADHD Loving” at 2:00pm (CST) ,Tuesday, January 24, 2017.
We will talk openly about how our romantic lives are affected, ways we can improve things, how and when to address the issue with new partners, what advice we have for others and more. I am really looking forward to shedding some light on this topic and learning from everyone else’s experiences.