Bye Bye Boring Bridal Showers!
How many prim and proper Bridal showers have you attended in your life? If you are like me, you may not actually remember because they all tend to blur together. The excuse for the quiet demeanors and polite speaking voices has always been that there would be women from several generations there and so intimate conversation topics were to be avoided so as not to make anyone “uncomfortable”.
The great irony of this is that bridal showers were started as a way for women to “shower” a soon to be bride with gifts and advice for her to carry into her marriage. It’s hard to imagine, but the world didn’t always have porn and the internet to teach us about sex, so young brides were often completely naive about what to expect on their marriage night and beyond. The gathering of women at a pre wedding shower provided a time for stories to be shared, jokes to be made, advice to flow freely and an opportunity for the bride to ask questions without being silenced or shamed. Somehow through the years, we have subverted one of the greatest gifts women have to offer each other at a shower by dampening the open communications about marital intimacy. Instead of inviting our elders to share their stories and insights about what it takes to keep romantic fires burning within the marriage, our bridal showers focus on the material aspects of a wedding. How can it be a good thing to ignore the emotional and physical ties that are the very foundation for a healthy marriage?
When we host engagement parties, bridal showers, or bachelorette parties, at Darling Way, we go old school. We open conversations about the joys of physical intimacy and how to keep things lively; we emphasize the commitment it takes to maintain a fun romantic attitude towards a partner even when raising kids and working too much. We encourage older people to entertain the younger ones with stories from their lives because none of us are exempt from stories of romantic misadventures. We make sure that every newlywed couple knows that good lube is the most important thing to bring on a honeymoon because every dehydrated, tired bride deserves to enjoy honeymoon sex without any unpleasant friction. It’s so interesting that our quaint little cottage provides a wonderfully inviting atmosphere for people of all ages and backgrounds to share openly and laugh honestly about love, its glory and struggles.We think that the chance to speak freely about all of the facets of a marriage is the single most meaningful bridal shower, gift possible. It’s certainly the one that should last the longest.
With this in mind, when people are shopping for wedding or engagement gifts, we encourage them to also include something personal and meaningful for the couple. It can be a book about love, a simple massage oil or even a candle to remind the couple of the flame of intimacy that should always be the glue that binds them together. While bachelorette party gifts can be silly, why not add some fun practical bits in like quality flavored lubes, edible massage oils and a leg wallet for the bride to use on her honeymoon?