My grin lasted until just now when I wrote the title of this piece and then went happily in search of joyful tales of loving lobster couples living in the ocean blue…
Unfortunately, then the waves of reality crashed upon me and I am sputtering and sad.
This weekend I had the amazing opportunity to speak at the esteemed Fenway Health in Boston. I was thrilled and humbled to partner with the devoted team from this outstanding organization. Fenway Health has been a shining star for over 40 years, providing services and a voice to a community that the rest of the medical profession was so hesitant to address. I couldn’t believe that I was lucky enough to be part of their story even in a tiny way.
The gray skies, blistery winds and cold temperatures can lead us to withdraw into our own little worlds as we snuggle alone in a comfy blanket with flannel pajamas to keep us warm. This is a great thing to do when we are alone or need some solitude. But if you have a special someone, why not warm them up while they do the same for you?
New Year’s Eve is one of the few holidays that everyone can celebrate together regardless of religion, heritage, culture, nationality, family status or gender. While some cultures recognize more than one calendar, I don’t believe there are any that aren’t also willing to accept December 31 as the end of a year. In this way, New Year’s Eve is an inclusive holiday and can be celebrated by all. This doesn’t mean drunken insanity is required though. It means we can feel a sense of community with all of our neighbors and compatriots as we all create our own ways to commemorate the ending of one year and the fresh start of another.
This week is generally a mad rush for people trying to frantically finish their shopping; trying to make sure that everyone on the list is accounted for with the proper gifts. While giving is the spirit of the season, the flip side is that for every give, there is a receive. How many of us are really comfortable when we are this side of the equation?
When you are handed a gift, how many times have you said “Oh, you didn’t have to” or “Oh, you shouldn’t have”? Somehow this can slip out so easily, but what does it really mean? Do we think the person gifting us truly thinks a gift was “required” and we are trying to enlighten them? Or do we mean that we didn’t think it was expected so we didn’t get them one and we are trying to excuse that fact? Do we say it sometimes when even though it could reasonably be expected that one would bring a gift (eg. a birthday celebration), but we are trying to give the impression that the gifts are not important to us? As we age, have we somehow come to believe that adults should outgrow the excitement of gifts? If we are financially successful and don’t “need” anything, do gifts become unnecessary or less significant?
Tired of the same old same old when it comes to holiday parties? Are you bored with the pasted on smiles, the small talk with people you don’t care enough about to see more than once a year? Do you find yourself wishing you had an excuse not to go? Would you like to add a little old fashion fun to your party nights?
It doesn’t take much to make a blah evening into Wow! Try one of these games with your special person during your next gathering and enjoy a bit of frivolity together. You never know what good things happen when couples shake things up a bit:
Fire plays a starring role in our written history as well as our daily lives. A quick search on Google for "fire quotes" yields over 106 Million responses. The use of "fire" often means passion, drive, or urgency. While often accorded respect as a positive attribute, we can also see the "danger" lurking just below the surface of these qualities. The implication is clear, "having a fire burning within" can lead to wonderful things, or it can cause destruction. Even metaphorically, dealing with fire requires proper care. Read more
It’s been such a lovely evening. The dinner was fabulous, the ambiance and conversation just perfect. You even held hands and giggled like teenagers for a few blissful moments. Before you know it you are both in your bedroom, lips locked and clothes falling. You step back for a brief moment and in surprise, your mouth drops open. You do a double take staring at his underwear…
It’s easy to appreciate the good things in life. I have no trouble sincerely expressing my gratitude for my wonderful children and granddaughter, the amazing friends and family that support me constantly, the fact that I am able to support my family financially and of course, that we are all mostly healthy. These are the easy, obvious blessings in my life and worthy of unending appreciation.
However, I am taking a different approach this Thanksgiving. In addition to the obvious, I am trying to be thankful for the more complex, harder issues in my life. I want to embrace matters that I generally complain about or dislike. For example, these are some of the things I am trying to be grateful for:
We all know that Thanksgiving is about gratitude; we celebrate the goodness in our lives with the people we love. Turkey and stuffing tend to be the mainstays of the holiday, and apple or pumpkin pies traditionally end our dinner in honor of the fall season. We lean back in our chairs after indulging to appreciate our full tummies. Yet, if one pays very very close attention, it becomes clear that there is one thing missing from this special meal. An oversight easily remedied with proper planning and minimal effort. Our mouths long for a final encore; a lingering taste other than the tang of seasonal delights. Only the warmth of a melting chocolate signals our appetite and tongue that the feast cycle is complete - the final perfect note in the performance has been struck. Be the hero at your holiday celebrations this year. Bring chocolates. Read More...
Last week, I watched a woman get out of a parked car on a street downtown and accidentally bang into the edge of the door. Her leg started bleeding significantly but she wasn’t otherwise hurt. Her companions rushed to her attention immediately, they offered any possible assistance. At least two people gave her napkins to absorb the blood and prevent further mess; wet wipes were openly provided by another to clean herself where the blood had dripped; even a stranger was compelled by the sight of her bloody leg to stop and offer to get her a drink of water just to help her relax for a moment. Within minutes, a middle aged man, not her husband, took off running down the street to buy bandages for her while others in her group waited patiently with her at the side of the car. I looked carefully at each of her friends and the unknown bystanders searching for signs of embarrassment, emotional discomfort or disdain. I saw only caring, sympathetic concern for this woman in her bloody plight.
Isn't it amazing how so many people can spend so long talking about the football game that happened the night or even week or year before? Have you been surprised by how carefully they have analyzed the plays, the strategies, every movement of each player? Have you heard fans who have never even played football speak with authority about what a team "should" have done?
Wouldn't it be great if people were so serious about analyzing their own actions and relationships with as much desire for success and improvement? Why not think of our lives each week as a football game and review our own game tapes each Monday?
In case you need another reason to kiss someone special today, now you can call it a beauty treatment! It seems that kissing uses 30 muscles which helps keep the face tight. We think that means that the more you kiss, the less likely your cheeks will sag. Wait, there's more! Extra bonus for serious kissing: the muscle tension caused by a passionate kiss helps smooth the skin and increase circulation. So for your face's sake, kiss someone special today!
It’s so easy to jump up in the morning and put aside all thoughts of fun and pleasure as we start the new week determined to work through our never ending to do lists. We have promised ourselves that this week we will eat right, exercise, be incredibly productive and focused; we have so many things to get done before Friday and we almost don’t know how we will do it!
I think that romance and pornography have a lot in common… to paraphrase the Supreme Court, “I will know it when I see it” applies equally to both.
Romance doesn't have to come from other people or from sexual intimacy.